F A L L I N G U P
by tastebuds
Summary: Programming would help clear her mind. Just like Hal taught her, when things go wrong, avoid the problem. In which Sunny evaluates her relationship with Jack, and finally pays him back properly.


"If he touched her, he couldn't talk to her, if he loved her he couldn't leave, if he spoke he couldn't listen, if he fought he couldn't win."  
― Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things

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_2027._

Sunny was a smart girl - even though that was probably grossly understating it. She languidly stretched and a hand ghosted over the sleeping body next to her, careful of not waking him. She knew that he would wake if the air so much as shifted too much. Bringing her hand up to her head, she ran her fingers through her metallic locks.

The body beside her shifted and rolled over to face her. "Still awake, huh? You should get some rest, you know. I'm sure building and designing jets that fly at Mach 23 takes proper rest." Her bedmate smiled wryly and her heart leapt. She idly wondered if this is how Uncle Hal felt for Dave. This all-encompassing happiness, the bone-deep devotion, and the knee-collapsing inspiration for another human being - or more appropriately - cyborg. But he was still human to her, always would be.

Sunny giggled, because with him she never just laughed. It always came out as a girly, high-pitched, excited squeal. Looking down at him, she replied softly. "I could do that in my sleep. You know that." She traced one finger over his jaw, down his shoulder, across the blade, and stopped at his waist; the muscles tensed delightfully at her touch. Her red duvet rested at his waist. The contrast to his skin - hers too, but this isn't about her, it never is - is striking and it simply makes her want to _touch_ him.

Sunny sighed, "I didn't mean to wake you. I know you must be exhausted." She rested her eyes on him. "You did just come off another difficult mission."

The man sighed, "Sunny, you worry too much." He brought his arms up to rest his head on top them. Sunny was transfixed by moving of the muscle over the metal.

She clenched her hands. "Raiden–"

"Jack," he interrupted. "Call me _Jack_."

She never got into the habit of calling him Raiden, truth be told, for as long as she could remember she had always associated him to be "hers". Even since a child, _her_ savior, _her_ anchor, _her_ Jack. Sunny began again, "Jack," she stressed. "You, of all people, need someone to worry about them. You're just as reckless as Uncle Dave."

Jack laughed, it sounded bitter, a harsh grainy sound. But then again, Jack was one of the most bitter people in existence with good reason. "So, what? You're the Hal to my Dave? Otacon to Snake? You've definitely been influenced by Dr. Emmerich over the years Sunny."

Sunny flinched at the tone, because that's _exactly_ what she was. What she wanted to be. "Yes. You're right. We're...partners." It was not a lie, but that does not even begin explain their complicated relationship. She was completely and totally his, had always been (_and_ _always will be, her mind supplied_). Even though Hal had already reprogrammed the nanomachines in the both of them, there was no denying the connection. For years, her very survival had depended on him. He was the anchor to her life. Maybe this was a new branch of Stockholm Syndrome. Just as she was a captive to the PATRIOTS, Sunny was also a captive to Jack. Even without ever meeting him, she knew that she'd follow him into the deep pits of Hell, kneel at his feet, and put him back together when (not if) some tried to break him.

Sunny never relied on anyone except Jack. Not even Hal and Snake. Whenever she had a problem, she called Jack. If something (or someone) bothered her, Jack would take care of it. She smiled at the memory of Jack and herself strolling through the park one afternoon. And some idiot boy decided he'd make a pass at her. Sunny couldn't even feel bad when Jack made the kid wet themselves in sheer terror.

Later on that night, she'd proceed to call out his name as she raced to her release. Sunny was 15. That was when she knew she was in serious trouble. So she asked Uncle Hal one day. Sunny was no stranger to how sexual relations worked. She'd had her share of tales from the sack, but she was always left unsatisfied. They weren't who she wanted. They didn't have that full, shoulder-length hair, or that grainy voice. They didn't smell like warm blood and hot metal. They weren't Jack – and therein lie her problem.

As she explained this to her uncle, he hardly even looked surprised. He didn't look upset either, he simply shrugged and told her to be careful. She must have got her awful taste in partners from Hal, too. He was definitely one of the worst people to model a healthy relationship after. Sunny didn't assume that for one second his relationship with Dave was healthy. She and Hal often discussed his relationship via Codec (141.21, she always recited) or in person whenever she went to visit him.

Hal gave, Dave took. That's just the way it works out some days. Could she give and give and give? Her mind supplied, "Yes, yes, yes." Of it's own accord. She surrounded by dysfunctional relationships. Aunt Meryl and Johnny were the same. Johnny gave while Meryl took. Sunny sighed deeply and brought a hand to rub at her face. This was so complicated, she looked at her laptop on the desk near the window. Perhaps she could write out some code to the new security system, it had a loophole that could be exploited if the right hacker came along. Programming would help clear her mind. Just like Hal taught her, when things go wrong, avoid the problem.

Sunny pulled the cover back, and the chill of the room immediately assaulted her legs. She only wore a white tank and a snug pair of drawstring jogging pants. She felt his eyes on her and she imagined he was admiring her. Turning back around, she asked quietly. "Are you hungry? Or would you like something to drink?" She leveled her grey eyes his face. He stared at her intently, as if he didn't even hear her question. She hoped he said yes, she always leapt at the chance to show him that she had grown. Sunny turned to go start up all her computers, he'd answer when he was ready. The fluorescent lighting from the screens illuminated the room with a sickly cornflower blue hue. Listening to her gadgets whirl to life, she nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt Jack next to her.

"Jack!" She yelped. "Are you _trying_ to kill me!?" Placing a hand on her chest, she took several deep breaths. Looking back up at Jack, she was only face-to-face with his chest. She, unfortunately, didn't get her mother's height. But she was more than distracted with the expanse of skin in front of her. She took a step back and spun back around to face her monitors. Sunny was certain that Jack could probably hear her heart thundering. Her hands and arms shook from the force of her feelings weighing her down.

"You've changed, Sunny."

The grey-haired girl paused and looked back to her guest. And he looked at her as if he'd never saw her before. Her heart jumped into her throat and her eyes burned.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, it's not."

"Oh okay."

"I'm happy with how you are. You've grown."

Sunny chewed at her lip. She often wondered if her saw her as that awkward, stuttering child-teen rather than the lady she strived to be. Sunny sat on her desk, head hanging in defeat.

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x-posted to AO3 (tastebuds) and my LJ when I get a chance. Reviews are love.


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